Friday 11th December:

An early arrival in Rio, one of the most scenic locations anywhere in the world for a "sail-in". The first symbol of Brazil and Rio is Sugar Loaf Mountain, or Corcavado, a large finger of rock that dominates the entrance to Rio harbour. Christ the Redeemer, 710 metres above Rio stays elusively behind cloud, but is actually too far away to get a decent shot of. The temperature is 30 deg and the humidity is high as we take an afternoon stroll. We don't get very far, but we do visit the oldest church in Rio, Sao Borte which has an amazing baroque interior. The traffic is gridlocked, mainly due to the pre-Olympic works going on to install a new tram system. This runs along the dockside all the way into, and I guess through the city. Access to the port is chaotic, and I'm really not sure where taxis can park, let alone any coaches.

Lorna manages to Face Time both Lucy & Hanna. Martha still not too well but she manages a few "Grandads", and "Grandmas", and her usual wave. Evie is her usual sulky self, barely willing to say hello; words will have to be had on our return. Dinner in Red Ginger, an Asian fusion cuisine, which of course Lorna didn't enjoy, but I did, a nice change of flavour.

Thursday 10th December:

The final sea day, and another double dose of Terry Bishop, in fact this should be renamed The Terry Bishop Cruise. A lecture in the morning about the history of Portugal an Brazil, and Pedro, apparently they were pretty well all called Pedro in Brazil. In the evening a session of highly amusing and risque folk songs entertained us into the night.

Lucy has posted news of the Hewerdine Twins on Facebook, something she rations fairly carefully; Lorna has given them the name Gem and I, or Gemini, clever or what, so from now on we have to refer to them as Gemini.

We are still trying to confirm a few details with Savvi Travel, but it seems that they can do nothing for Sue & Dennis, as they did not book with them. We have managed to arrange an earlier pick up at the port, taking us to the Sofitel, allowing us hopefully to leave a case, and arrange a late check out on 17th when our flight home is not until five past midnight on the 18th.

Wednesday 9th December:

The news of the day, well perhaps the news of the cruise, well perhaps the news of the year, Lucy' having twins, wowsers! Lorna picks this up on her email and she is beside herself, not knowing whether to laugh or cry, and spends the rest of the day doing both, sometimes at the same time. Champagne is ordered for the four of us and we toast Lucy & Neil. The practicalities of three children under two, if only briefly, are just dawning on us, how much space will our Saturday morning coffee in Costa now take up. The due date is June 12th, but Lucy is unlikely to go the full 40 weeks, so the births are likely to be before Martha is two. Lucy tells her news to all the family, and we worry briefly what Hanna's reaction will be......."She's properly trumped me know" is her first comment, but all seems well with Hanna & Evie coming round later to hear the news. Four grandchildren, and the twins will not be identical, 50% chance of one boy, one girl, 25% chance of two boys, or two girls. Prams, car seats, bedrooms, cots, buggies, high-chairs, OMG, the thoughts go on, and we're only the grandparents.

Not much else to report today, other than the usual sunshine, food, drink, and a second spinning sessions. Dinner with Dennis & Maribeth.

Now on a cruise the cross section of people is actually fairly small with regard to age, outlook, even wealth (everyone being able to afford a luxury cruise), but with one characteristic there is a very wide range, basic civility toward fellow passengers. There are too many people who for whatever reason fail to recognise the basics of "hello", "good morning", "I think you were here before me", and "thank you", or even a smile, etc, etc. Lorna & I are getting quite naughty as we make some people aware of there ignorance, which of course means we are now being rude. The man who was happy to jump the omelette queue had to be spoken to three times before he acknowledged I might have been in front of him; completely unaware of my existence. No thought of shall I check to  make sure no one is in front of me, no just march straight up regardless. The man along our corridor for whom we waited to pass, could  not manage eye contact, let alone a thank you. When we called him to task he could still  not manage a word, only a look of great irritation, tosser!

Maybe it is too much to expect the same civility from everyone, but the difference between those that do offer it, and those that do not, is stark.

Tuesday 8th December:

Lorna contacts Savvi Travel to hopefully rearrange our pick up at the port in Rio. We have to disembark by 09.00 on the 12th, but our arranged pick up is not planned until 13.15, too long to sit around waiting with our luggage. We are trying to arrange to cab it to the Sofitel, leave some luggage there, and then have the pick up there. We get a reply before being unable to get into Gmail for the rest of the day; the pick up will now be 09.15, but the hotel is fully booked on the 17th, but Dave is trying for a late departure.

Today it's time to be proud of being British as Terry Bishop tells the story of The Falklands War in his own Inimitable style; 74 days before the Argies surrendered and a reminder of the great Sun headline, "Gotcha", after our submarine HMS Conqueror sunk the Belgrano with the loss of 323 lives. Terry recalls it was a very close call, as 13 enemy bombs failed to explode after they landed on ships in the waters off Port Stanley. The reason they failed was because they had to come in very low to get under our radar, but that the fuses then failed to detonate. Had they detonated the outcome of the war could have been very different.

A couple of very short rain showers between hot sunny weather, so sunbathing and eating and drinking fill most of the day, apart from the spinning class which I try for the first time. Quite tough but good exercise, but it seems like I've shaken the stomach about and the acid has returned. I cannot eat very much in Toscana, and fail to even finish my beer. Entertainment if you can call it that is Stevie Jo, the comedian, and we seat ourselves strategically for an early exit, which we put into action; he must be one of the most dire acts we have seen on a cruise ship, and there are several contestants for that accolade.

The highlight of our day is pre-dinner drinks with Nancy & Chris, who we have both taken to. Their suite if not the full 2,000 sq ft Owners Suite, but a mere 1,000 sq ft Oceania Cabin at the back of the ship. It is beautifully appointed and even sports an outdoor hot tub complete with TV. The problem with these massive suites is you would begrudge it every time you had to leave it and mix with the proletariat. Chris still consults for the Endless Pools business for half of the year, for around 10 days a month. He travels round the US meeting with customers who have their pools and who might wish to let them be utilised for promotional events.

Our 400 minutes of free internet runs out today, and we purchase an"any time" package for the remaining few days for $100, which will still leave us in credit by the end of the trip. Lorna has seen some shoes she rather likes, for me; I like them also, but do I really need another pair of shoes, of course I................?

Monday 7th December:

I wake to find our toilet full with brown effluent/excrement, and that after yellow/murky water in both sink and bath yesterday. The bathroom stank, but cleared after flushing, second report coming soon. Same again this afternoon, and I report again via telephone and then we both pay a visit. I'm not sure why, but every time we visit the Reception, we come away feeling we're being patronised, that they don't really listen to you, and there is a complete lack of communication. I found an engineer on return to the room and the best I got from him was two or three grunts, from which I interpreted it had been fixed. He did come back later to check again.

Our first of four sea days and perfect sunbathing weather; I finish my book about the life of Father Dmitry, a fascinating insight into the way that the Soviet Union and the KGB in particular handled the dissidents, and the network of gulags and the towns and villages that surrounded them, that are now dying out. Bridge of Spies next I think, more Cold War stuff and of course a new film starring Tom Hanks.

Our impression of Oceania is that it is not quite as special as it was when we first sailed with them in 2009, the food does not wow quite as it used to, and the extra costs seem excessive. They are now owned by NCL, Norwegian Cruise Lines, so maybe things are changing, or maybe of course we are getting more demanding. Having said all that we certainly got a great deal this time via Readers Offers, and we are still well in credit on our shipboard account, which Lorna wants to transfer to Sue & Dennis's to reduce what they will have to pay.

Day finished with a visit to the lounge to hear Vincenzo, the guitar virtuoso who is brilliant. Not sure we would go out of our way to listen to such a performance at home, but this man is undoubtedly a top act, which is more than can be said of Stevie Jo, who has the stage again tomorrow evening.

Sunday 6th December:

Well there's remote, and then there's really remote, and today we've done really remote. I thought Western Mongolia was pretty remote, but with only six hours drive to an airport, albeit over rough terrain, it's nowhere as remote as St. Helena. Everest Base Camp is pretty remote, nine or ten days walk in or out, but if an emergency arises, you might get helicoptered out. St. Helena is too far away from anywhere to make use of helicopters. This will all change next year when the new airport is completed, just how will that change the lives of the Saints, will St. Helena become a tourist destination other than for a day via a cruise ship? The Harbourmaster, Steve, who we chatted to for half an hour as we queued to board a tender, married to a Saint, and now a resident of four years was brought up in Kingsbury, and has supported Spurs all his life, such a small world.

Out taxi driver, Brian Coleman would you believe, had visited the UK this year, Greenford, Middlesex, and explained that to get anywhere from St. Helena you have to take the RMS St. Helena, their supply ship, and take four days to Ascension Island, or similar to Cape Town, and it's not cheap either, £400 for such a trip. From Ascension you can get an RAF flight back to the UK, and that's another £500. This probably explains why one of the guides we spoke to in Longwood House, aged 78, had never left the 47 square miles of the island. St. Helena does has a dark underbelly however, and a British QC is currently down here investigating reports of endemic child abuse.

Four thousand people live on the island, and today it was beautiful, the sun shining, the flowers in full bloom, and all hands to the pump for one of the dozen or so cruise ships that visit the island each year. If you're one of four thousand, and one ship comes and deposits 1250 people onto your island, then you pull all the stops out to make a few bob, but I have to say without ripping anyone off. Without a trip planned, and expecting all vehicles to have been commandeered, we picked up a taxi easily and embarked on the tour of the island. The Briars, where Napoleon spent his first few weeks on the island, his tomb, Longwood House where he spent his final six years, and finally Plantation House, the residence of the current Governor of the island were the points of interest.

We stop at the top of Jacob's Ladder as we return to Jamestown, and I take the easier descent, all 699 steps; would have liked to try the ascent but it would have taken too much time, and I'd have been a sweaty wreck, not a good look. A photograph with Napoleon outside the Consulate Hotel and it's back to the ship, only to find we have to stand in line for 30-40 minutes in the hot sun. Evening dinner is in the Polo Grill, and I have to say the food was less than average, a dry steak, my second underwhelming steak in two days, what's going on here? More underwhelming still was the singing of the young lady in Horizons for the late night Rock 'n Roll session, although some of those dancing made up for it with vigour, if not quality with their Grandad dancing!

Saturday 5th December:

Two visits to the Marina Lounge today, in the morning to hear the concluding talk from Terry Bishop on the life of Napoleon to another packed audience and for the evening show from an English comedian called Stevie Jo, yes the famous Stevie Jo. Apparently he has been on the BBC, before his career reached new heights in the pubs and clubs of Tenerife and cruise ships. No, never heard of him either, and with an act that is 30 years out of date will be happy to never hear from him again. Terry meanwhile gave us all the history of St. Helena and in particular the period between 1815 and 1821 when Napoleon was here at His Majesty's pleasure. This is the island's main claim to fame, where he stayed with his entourage at Longwood House and was buried nearby, only to be exhumed 19 years later to be taken back to France and buried with the full honours of an Emperor in Les Invalides.

A partially cloudy day but very warm, definitely tanning weather, we must be under a weak part of the ozone layer as we both have lobster like areas, me my feet and my forehead, Lorna her legs. We compare notes with Sue & Dennis regarding the Brazilian part of our journey, and it is by and large the same, contracted via the same tour operator as us, Blumar.

Another trip to the gym, and it seems like hard work, probably due in part to the good lunch and two glasses of Chardonnay. Now I always thought I didn't like Chardonnay, but I've found La Terre, a Californian Chardonnay, and I must say it slips down a treat. Along with a very smooth Mondavi Merlot, I'm enjoying the wine, albeit that I'm watching my intake as I wish to keep my digestion under control, which it seems to have been for the last couple of days, fingers crossed. 

We are enjoying the company of Sue & Dennis and invariably having a good laugh. We had dinner last night with them and an American couple we are cultivating, who have homes in Florida (not far from Bud & Dava), and Colorado, should we ever decide to take up skiing. He is part owner of a company that makes endless swimming pools, how would you like one of those in your garden Hanna,  you could train for your 5K swim twice a day.